and its ripple effects on your relationships & life circumstances — Since childhood, we’re taught to meet our emotional needs in covert, game-like ways. This is the norm, not the exception. But this habit sets all of us up for a specific temptation. It’s the constant tug of defensive mode: a life spent grasping at a fleeting sense of safety. The Fourth Trauma Response & How It Sabotages Authentic Relationships

…And why overcoming “bad” habits is almost impossible until you release it. — Our former selves can function like personal-development collateral damage. Especially if you feel more self-aware and satisfied with your life than you once did, it can feel like you’re underplaying your own evolution if you don’t hold onto at least a speck of disdain for who you once were. But…

How to actually get what you want using manifestation practices — Right now, millions of articles, videos, and podcasts trawl the internet, defending manifestation from a scientific perspective. By manifestation, I’m talking about using processes like visualization, imaginal scenes, and affirmations to create the reality you want. Invariably, the articles and videos proclaiming the scientific basis of manifestation say, “It’s not…

Unveiling the secret longings behind your fear (and how it can ignite your fulfillment, instead of your self-doubt) — Your fear wants you to believe if you do everything “right,” you won’t have to feel it. It wants you to think that if only you were in a different or better situation, it wouldn’t exist. Yet unless you’re currently 100% satisfied with your life, fear will go with you…

How to transmute adoration into personal power — Para-social relationships burn hotter and brighter than any of our real-life connections. There’s nothing like a one-sided bond to light that inner forest fire. Sure, we may never encounter these people in the flesh. …

To create in volume and with abandon, experiment with these mindsets — The creative process can be a magic carpet ride into your most fulfilling and freeing experiences. Despite its power, I imagine I’m not alone in feeling dread or anxiety before starting a project. Sadly, these blocks mean I create way less than my larger self would like. Yet the easiest…

When self-awareness becomes self-limitation When I discovered introversion, it was like getting a soft hug. I wasn’t simply a freak who ran out of things to say to relatives or friends: My temperament could explain my comfort in solitude and aversion to groups. Because discovering our personality preferences can be…

How to remove the emotional blocks standing between you and your life’s work. — The usual goal setting advice is to focus on measurable timelines and results. This approach can be useful, but it’s incomplete. Instead of focusing solely on the tactics, strategies, and precise, concrete details of my ideal career, I’ve decided to focus on the emotions I want to feel as I…

How I quit being a puppet (and how you can too). — When you look into a mirror and don’t like something about your reflection, what do you do? Easy. You change your shirt or brush your hair. But when it comes to life, most people reflexively manipulate the reflection they see in the mirror rather than changing the image they cast…